ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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