did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
