In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
