they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I think my moral compass just broke
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
