It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
