Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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