she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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