If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
