we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
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