Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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