i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
