please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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