He kissed a someone with a penis
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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