If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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