i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
