i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
