I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
