We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
