doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize