after a month anything with tits is on the radar
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
