I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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