I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
