I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
