Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
