I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize