Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Who died my cat blue again?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
