I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
