mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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