Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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