All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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