as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
