me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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