I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
