good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
