I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I deserve this hangover.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
