Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
