I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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