I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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