i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Acid is not a monday night drug
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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