I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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