I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
oh god the rape fog is back!
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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