Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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