Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
