a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
As shirtless as possible
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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