I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
