when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
