he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We are two peas in an std pod
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
