is your mom at the bar?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
