Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
