My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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