i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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