I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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