THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
