If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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