Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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