Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
