Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
