Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
