I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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