I love black thongs
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
